The Orcs Can’t Stand the Suspense! (Game of Thrones Episode 802: )

(Orcish Envoy’s Notes: Spoilers for Game of Thrones. If you’re not up on the show, don’t complain to the orcs. They just don’t care.)

The orcs don’t drink coffee (Sauron confiscates it all for his red-eyed self when the Haradrim bring up coffee beans from the south) but they were acting all extra caffeinated this Anorday, April 21st. They couldn’t even wait for the episode before they started tweeting.

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Watching Winterfell (Game of Thrones 0801) and the Orcish perspective

(Orcish Envoy’s Notes: Spoilers for Game of Thrones. If you’re not up on the show, don’t complain to the orcs. They just don’t care.)

After what seemed to be a literal Age, Sauron’s High-Def Palantir fired up, and the bog goblins and cave trolls and various uruks settled down to watch.

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Orcish Views on the Mother’s Mercy. (There was mercy in Game of Thrones? We orcs missed it!)

(Orcish Envoy’s Notes: Spoilers for Game of Thrones. If you’re not up on the show, don’t complain to the orcs. They just don’t care.)

As usual, the orcs promised to behave and to not make too much noise during the episode. To be safe, Gorbag the Mighty sat on Orblott the Babbler.

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Orcish Views on The Gift (Game of Thrones)

(Orcish Envoy’s Notes: Spoilers for Game of Thrones. If you’re not up on the show, don’t complain to the orcs. They just don’t care.)

Sauron was surprised that Game of Thrones aired on Memorial Day. Luckily, the Palantir’s DVR recorded the episode. Otherwise the Dark Lord would have had a riot on his hands. Orcs are pretty ugly. Rioting orcs are not any more attractive.

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Orcish Views on Unbent, Unbowed, Un OH MY SAURON!

(Orcish Envoy’s Notes: Spoilers for Game of Thrones. If you’re not up on the show, don’t complain to the orcs. They just don’t care.)

The orcs were surprisingly quiet after the show ended. The noises that followed consisted of weapons being sharpened, maps to Winterfell being rustled, and targets with Ramsay Bolton’s face being hit with darts.

Continue reading “Orcish Views on Unbent, Unbowed, Un OH MY SAURON!”